Placebo
by SilverStarShine94
Summary: Sometimes fantasy is enough. KakaSaku


**Placebo**

Sometimes fantasy is enough. KakaSaku

* * *

...

"Kakashi!" a delighted voice greeted him as the door swung open.

Placing a hand over her swollen belly - swathed in the colour navy, which she had never favoured before - Sakura held the door opened wider for him and he followed her into a brightly painted kitchen permeated with the smell of delicious cooking. Rubbing his hands absently against that chill that had managed to soak through even his thick gloves, he slung his scarf and coat over hook so that she wouldn't have to do it and stretch and strain herself.

Pulling out a chair with an audible scraping sound, Kakashi sat down with a near imperceptible sigh - the warm air soaking into his being almost instantly. Sakura had been chattering away quite the thing the moment he stepped inside, but only now did he turn his full attention to her. He enjoyed the sound of her voice, but that didn't mean he had to listen to every single thing that passed her plush lips.

"There's not much for me to do now that the baby is almost here. You know I've never been much of a cook..." There was an audible pause in which Sakura was obviously fishing for a reaction, which he wisely managed to stifle," so I've been working on that. And I've been catching up on my reading."

She patted the tottering pile of books on the kitchen worktop as she walked towards him with what looked like the best onigiri he had seen in a long time. The grace she usually possessed was still there, but it was muted somewhat by the way Sakura had to swivel her hips to accommodate the seven month along bump that had been slowly maturing inside her. She put the plate down in front of him with a beaming smile - warming like soft rays of summer sunshine - and lowered herself carefully into the chair opposite him so that her bare knees brushed against his clothed ones.

The perfect picture of domesticity.

And it wasn't his.

Glad the mask hid most of his expression, he turned back to the plate of unexpectedly delicious food laid out before him. Kakashi ate quickly when she wasn't looking - yanking down his mask, throwing in the food and then pulling it back up in a single moment. Sakura ate less daintily than might have been expected - relatively neatly, but with some gusto. She noticed the slight flurries of movement that accompanied him pulling his mask up to avoid seeing his face and, couldn't resist stabbing at the old subject.

"Worried that your face might burn up if it gets even the slightest ray of natural light on it," Sakura said, teasingly.

"Sunburn is a serious problem for someone with as delicate skin as mine, "he kept his voice gravely serious in contrast to her light tone.

She laughed easily, and leant forward unexpectedly to run her finger along the line where his mask blended into skin. The only thing that kept him rigidly in place was years upon years of experience in battle. She slid a finger under the edge of the fabric so that her smooth nail brushed against his skin in a teasing manner that made a shiver crawl across his skin in a tiny prickling wave.

"Do you have a tan line, I wonder?"

Her green eyes glinted in a way that hinted at further mischief, and Kakashi found himself debating how to retreat from the situation. Grab her wrist and the temptation would be there to kiss the delicate underside with its pulsing blue veins and sweet skin. Stand - the cupboard at his back prevented him from moving away - and he would definitely have a choice view down her top. Decisions, decisions. Suddenly, Sakura grimaced and retreated of her own free will - absently rubbing her spine as she settled back in the chair.

"How is your back?" He didn't have to feign concern.

She frowned slightly, "Not good. Chakra can alleviate it a bit, but I don't like to use too much over a prolonged period of time because of the..." she trailed off, stroking a slender hand over her bump.

"I can..." He couldn't quite get the words past the lump in his throat.

It didn't matter that he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence; Sakura knew what he meant. "Would you?"

She sat on the couch so that most of her back was within reach over the edge of the armrest and her legs were stretched out across the rest of the cushioned sofa. He pulled up one of the small padded stools that were dotted around the room so that she was comfortable and easily accessible. His prominent Adam's apple bobbed slightly as he contemplated what he had wordlessly offered to do.

Her dress buttoned up at the spine - small, slippery jet buttons in ridiculously tiny holes. Kakashi set his nimble fingers to picking the tiny buttons free until slowly, bit by bit, more pale skin was revealed to the sickly winter sunlight streaming through the windows. A smattering of freckles covered her slender shoulders and two small dimples appeared on either side of her spine as she leaned back with a sigh.

Her laughter, like soft, silver bells, cut through the tension in the room - that she probably wasn't even aware of - like a hot knife through butter.

"You can take off your gloves you know, Kaka-sensei."

He did so quickly, teasingly pinching her shoulder, before pressing his palms flat against her exposed skin - the contact was both elating and crushing in a single breath. Slowly and insistently, Kakashi began kneading the flesh of her back with the tips of his fingers and palms. Almost instantly Sakura began sighing and moaning in a way that made him shift uncomfortably on the small stool - unsure whether to move closer or further away.

_Because she was someone else's wife. _Wife, he tasted the syllables on his tongue and tried to ignore the bitter taste - thick, black and coppery - that coated the inside of his mouth.

"Sasuke never does this," she sighed again.

"Maybe he should."

Her answer was an incoherent noise of satisfaction that made his toes curl slightly, and a feeling of pride worm its way into his vicious internal struggle. By the time he had finished the sun had began to dip to the point that his shadow touched the opposite wall and Sakura was lying in a boneless, _pleasured_, slump across the couch. He stood to tower over her - answering her sleepy smile with a tight one of his own. It was time to go back to that cold apartment of his with its lack of central heating and a certain pink haired spitfire.

"I'll see myself out."

"Don't be a stranger," she called to his retreating back.

He picked up the coat slung over the hook, forgetting the scarf sandwiched between two of hers accidentally-on-purpose before stepping out into the cool, evening air.

...

The next time Kakashi went to see her (the very next day - his emotional masochism knew no bounds it would seem) there was an uneasy silence as he stepped into the small, dim hallway and brushed snow from his shoulders.

"Where is my scarf?" he said, monotone, probing between the many things crammed on the hooks, "I think I left it here."

Her eyes widened as a scarlet blush so bright blossomed across her cheeks that he was almost worried she would faint from the lack of blood getting to her brain. Sakura turned to look guiltily up the stairs before turning to start ascending without a word. He found himself following her - one had hovering behind her back to aid her, just in case - it wasn't that he thought her incapable... there was just a _drive_ to be ready to help anyway.

Sakura paused at the threshold of the door he knew lead to _their _bedroom. It looked as though she was debating allowing him inside, but she left the door open for him anyway. Kakashi paused in the doorway as his delicate sense of smell was positively overpowered by her scent. It crashed into him like waves against the shore, rendering him incapable of moving for a few seconds.

Sakura took this time to rummage amongst the sheets of her bed - sending another wave of her sweet scent, laced with the tiniest amount of sleep sweat into the air. She turned back to him clutching the fabric of his scarf so tightly between her hands that he was almost worried that, with the aid of her ferocious strength, she would tear it into woolly shreds.

"Sasuke's been away for a month," Sakura said, guiltily pressing the scarf into his unresisting hands, "and I've been feeling a bit...," she cleared her throat, laughing a little derisively, "lonely."

"That's normal," he heard himself say, as though from a distance, taking the scarf so that his hands brushed against hers.

"And you left that here. I was going to bring it back to you, but..." she trailed off again, frowning fiercely," it's difficult for me to get across town quickly and you're not often in."

That didn't address the... issue, if it could be called that, of her sleeping with it wrapped around her. Some part of him wanted to prod and probe at her for answers, for reasons. Another part of him felt content enough with the sheer rush of very primal satisfaction that came with the thought of her deliberately covering herself in his scent. The fact that she did it while she was sleeping, at her most vulnerable, added to the triumphant roar that had sounded somewhere in the dark, ancient corners of his mind - the part that had evolved longest ago and focused heavily on the sense.

"I missed that smell, I guess, it makes me feel safe."

When she clasped her hands over his something inside of him snapped. There was a pause during which he held his breath against her scent and looked up at the ceiling instead of down at her face. Her hands began to slide up his forearms, pushing up his sleeves as she went. The light, insistent touch made a muscle jump in his jaw. "Sasuke doesn't make me feel that safe anymore. He's never around."

She tilted her face up to his even though he kept rigidly still and even then she still choose to spot a few soft kisses on the masked underside of his jaw that made his hands tighten so viciously around his scarf he could hear the fabric straining. That was when Sakura grabbed his shirt and pulled him down to meet her fully. The kiss was tentative, then full of fire from both sides as he forgot why he was resisting.

Through sheer force of will his hands stayed clasped around his scarf rather than moving to her and he managed to pull back before she did. She looked into his one, revealed eye with a mixture of shock, hurt and anger before noticing the restrained, burning longing that must have been plainly written across his features. She belonged to someone else. Her twisted expression of anger smoothed as her eyes became watery.

"I'm sorry," she said, the sentiment sounding somewhat lacking.

He nodded tightly and her face crumpled as she pushed himself towards him insistently. He cradled her against him and tried to ignore the press of her bump and the warm metal of her ring against his exposed forearm.

"You're a good man, Kakashi."

Not for one second did he believe that.

...

Things went back to normal after that.

He still visited almost every day like clockwork, and she cooked for him, and he rubbed her aching back.

Two days later they sat together on the couch watching one of the mindless, vapid television shows that Sakura actually seemed to like. Icha Icha was barely enough to hold back the stream of irritating dialogue and painful, hideous love scenes booming from the screen.

It was suddenly apparent that Sakura had fallen asleep. Her head was still leaning on his shoulder heavily with the rest of her small body curled up against his side like an affectionate cat. Closing Icha Icha with a soft snap, Kakashi turned to manoeuvre away from her; fully intending to carefully lift her into her own bed and leave her to sleep. Then, Sakura had to go and give a muted sigh, nuzzle him with her pert little nose and slide into his lap so that most of her torso was stretched across his knees and her head was propped up against the cushioned arm rest.

He felt her soft weight, the insistent press of her bump against him, and the muted noises of satisfaction she made and froze still. Glancing at the clock, Kakashi saw that it was only one in the afternoon... Sasuke would not be back for four hours at the very least - the mission brief he had stolen clearly stated that fact. He caught what he was thinking, and realised that if there was reason to not want these interactions between them discovered then there must have been something to hide in the first place.

Looking down at her pale, peaceful face, and slightly open rosy lips he felt wholly unrepentant. Carefully tucking one of the many plush cushions around them under her so that it cradled her back and stomach, Kakashi settled back to read for a few hours - more peaceful than he had felt in a long time... until his sharp eyesight caught a slight fleck of reflected light as he leant his head back. The gleaming golden band on her left hand with its twelve tiny perfect diamonds glinted maliciously in the light every time Sakura moved.

How a lump of metal could seem so damned _smug_ he would never know.

...

And, of course, when Sasuke came back he found himself visiting less. The watchful black eyes of his once student were a cool and sharp as flint and Kakashi got the impression that he _knew _something had happened while he was away, but was probably too cocky to believe that Sakura would ever choose her old sensei over her long-time crush, and husband. He was probably right.

If Sakura was aware of the tension - the long boiling, angry looks between them - she never showed it for a second. Their bi-monthly dinner together - the three of them held around the table only by Sakura's insistence - was a quiet, tense affair. He always left feeling irritable and blackly angry. On one such occasion, just before the baby was due, Sakura shouted him back as he moved out into the garden.

"Kakashi..." she called after him, sounding hesitant.

He turned to see her silhouette and little else framed by the light streaming from the doorway. Sakura's cat-like green eyes caught the pale wavering moonlight as she turned her head to face him in a swish of pink locks. For a second she hoped that he would follow him out of the house - back to the cold apartment that would feel like a fiery paradise with her in it.

"I'd like you to be the Godfather, "she said, clear voice carrying despite the chill wind.

Kakashi smiled back at her as warmly as he could manage, confirming that he would be honoured in a voice that sounded so hollow he was surprised Sakura didn't pick up on it. She was probably too happy to notice - heart shaped face split ear to ear with a luminescent smile.

If this was as close as he could get... he would take it.

...

* * *

Whew, done! My angst monster hasn't really had any love of late, and I think he felt neglected. Well, if I feel inspiration striking I might turn this into a multi-chapter, multi-pairing deal, but don't hold your breath, lovelies.

Thanks for reading ~

Silver


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